Day 35 – 36 : Wellington – “We have a bathroom. And it’s talking to me.”By Lee

We hit the road from Taupo and endure a long six hour journey south to the tail-end of the north island.

As nation capitals go, Wellington is a shocking disappointment. Up there with the likes of Canberra (officially the most boring city on the planet), Wellington is devoid of character or anything pretty much anything that resembles popular interest.

A port city, we emerge from the bus next to our accommodation to blustery winds and docklands wet from recent rainfall. As we’re practically in the ferry car-park and it’s hardly picturesque, I decide to reserve final judgment on New Zealand’s capital until we’ve at least seen a little more of it.

Tags: Trip, Wellington

Day 27 – 29 : Rotorua: “I think someone is being murdered outside.”By Lee

Rotorua is a squat, nondescript town about a couple of hours south-east of Auckland. We take the Naked Bus (no nakedness detected) and are soon spat out in the rain at an i-Site office, i-Site being the ubiquitous tourist centres found all over New Zealand.

Our first reaction to the town (apart from where did all this rain come from) is the fetid eggy smell emanating from its streets. We quickly learn that it’s the local sulphur tracts that give the town its unique and famous stench. I’m instantly reminded of the sulphur trail we walked in Hawaii and the similar god-awful reek similar in odour to rotten eggs. Of course, no Hawaiian would be stupid enough to pitch a tent right next to such a malodorous phenomenon or even live downwind of what is truly a powerful stench.

Welcome to Rotorua – where sense is not necessarily something available in droves.

Tags: Rotorua, Trip, zorb

Day 18 – 23 : Hawaii – “Think of every natural disaster possible. We’ve got it.”By Lee

We board at Vancouver, fly south to LAX and endure a four hour lay-over. Sheila tries to sleep (on the floor) and I amuse myself by staring at a Sony kiosk machine and its thorough service-man as he phlegmatically restocks earphones and eReaders into its esurient guts. (Yes, you can buy an eReader from a machine in LAX).

After the morning’s stunt escapades, and a non-stop barrage of poor food choices, I feel like death. Thankfully the flight is another uneventful affair and we land in Honolulu without incident. At least, I don’t throw myself down any stairs between the plane and the baggage claim area which is always a bonus.

Tags: hawaii, oahu, Trip, volcano

How to fall down a flight of stairs and liveBy Lee

An amazing thing happens to the human body when you throw it down a flight of stairs.

First up, it’s important to remember a key point: human thought, electric impulses firing in arcane arcs down elaborate neural pathways indecipherable to pretty much everyone on the planet, is faster than you can imagine. In the fraction of a second between the fearful realisation that you are in fact falling and going over completely, a multitude of possibilities are evaluated, outcomes weighed and likely discarded, contributing to the phenomenon of “time slowing down.” Obviously time doesn’t slow down, time is a constant, it’s just that, in that rarest of moments when primordial instinct takes over and you’re no longer in the bosom of the 21st century with its iPods and hybrid cars, survival mode kicks in, bombarding your brain with so much information that the external world is broken down into isolated facets. Snippets capable of being viewed piece-meal.

Tags: accident, Trip, Vancouver

Day 16 – 17 : Vancouver – “Today is my birthday.”By Lee

The flight from Toronto to Vancouver is unremarkable. I say this purely because, sitting here in New Zealand trying to recall it brings up a blank, so it must have been event free. We touchdown late in the evening and within 15 minutes we’ve been accosted by one of Vancouver’s legendary homeless elite.

There are numerous rumours as to why Vancouver has a homeless problem. The most fanciful tall tale (and hence probably specious to say the least) is that the city shut down its mental asylums and ushered the ex-inmates out on to the streets like spent barflies into the night without a care in the world. I can’t confirm this juicy rumour, but I can say from witnessing the glassed-over stares and demented gaits of some of the mendicants I encounter – it sure does seem plausible.

Tags: Trip, Vancouver

Day 12 – 15: Niagara Falls – “Look! That’s where Lois Lane threw herself in the river!”By Lee

We ship out of Toronto and head south to Niagara Falls by train. After availing of the very last of our weekly transit cards’ usage, we navigate around the high ceiling halls and winding corridors of Unity Station and wait for boarding.

It’s here I gut my Lonely Planet Guide to Canada. Excising vast reams of information, reducing the tome down to merely contain references to Niagara and the last stop on our Canadian sojourn, Vancouver, the book is no longer as impressive in girth or in weight. I’m sure other items I’m carting around the world will experience similar fates.

We board and, once again due to some satellite hiccups, wifi is available for free so I write and catch up on what’s going on in Internet-land. From the backlog of articles I earmark for future reading it’s obvious the place has been getting on along without me quite nicely.

Two hours later and the train slows and deposits us in sunny Niagara Falls.

Tags: Trip

Day 6 – 11: Toronto – “Go Blue Jays!”By Lee

If Montréal comes across as a city with the vibe and culture of a different continent, Toronto follows suit as a location suffering from a similar geographical identity crisis. While Canadians will often go to great lengths to assert the differences between their great nation and their closest neighbour down south, you can’t help but [...]

Tags: Trip

Day 2 – 5 : Montréal – “Parlez-vous free wifi?”By Lee

We wake and check email. Things are looking up in the writing world as I receive an interesting offer for ongoing writing work with favourable terms. I decide to mail the guy back after I’ve soaked in some of Montréal. After all, the trip comes first — securing employment over the three months while away [...]

Tags: Trip

Day 1: London; Montréal – “When are you getting married?”By Lee

After an uneasy night’s sleep – partially thanks to the stress of the big trip literally only hours away but also due to a neighbour’s house alarm wailing through-out the night – we get up early and finish off the remainder of the frantic last-minute tasks. Breakfast being first on the agenda.

Tags: Trip

Day 0 – Dublin, Ireland – “I’m surrounded by gadgets!”By Lee

I feel like I’m about to invade a small country.

With a rucksack full to the brim with t-shirts and other unsuitable clothing for the Canadian, New Zealand, Australian and other climates I’ll be experiencing, I’ve spent the majority of the day with more important tasks – installing software on my netbook and charging/prepping all forms of gadgetry in order to last three months in the wild.

Tags: Trip