LeeCash.net Will write for food

Day 84 – 87 : Penang – “Hang on, I’m on an island?!”By Lee

Penang is a small Malaysian island province hanging off the western coast of the country about an hour and a half north of KL. More accurately, Penang is the island of Penang and a strip of land on the mainland to its east; a long spine of narrow bridgework preventing the islet from drifting off toward India.

I mention Penang’s geographical make-up as, for some unknown reason, I never actually look up the place before I get there – leading to a bemused look on Sheila’s face as we sit in the eager taxi-man’s vehicle and I ask if I’m on an island. Or not. You never can tell these days.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: Malaysia, Penang

Day 81 – 83 : Kuala Lumpur – “I thought there were TWO towers? Oh, hang on.”By Lee

If I’m being completely honest, one of the main reasons we’re going to Malaysia at all is because it’s, geographically, on the way to Thailand.

Toward the end of our tour, such a strategic locative factor starts to play a more and more prominent role in our destination selections. Do we really want to go to Krabi? Not really. Is it half way between Phuket and Bangkok? Krabi it is.

The other slightly more curious reason for taking in Kuala Lumpur is because Sheila’s boss spends half the year here. And when you hear so much about a certain location, even in passing, it does pique one’s interest to the extent that swinging by and taking in the sights becomes exceedingly attractive.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: KL, KL Tower, Malaysia, Petronas Towers, Rainforest B&B

Day 76 – 80 : Singapore – The only shopping mall to have a seat on the UN councilBy Lee

After another brief dabble with madness and the space/time continuum (Darwin is a half an hour before Cairns – go figure), we land at Singapore Changi International airport, a veritable nexus for flights that traverse the east-west divide.

Changi is a monster, with breathing parts and endless tunnels around every corridor populated with denizens scurrying around, the life-force of this indomitable machine. We eventually escape into its bowels and locate the metro system, praying we’re not too far from Mosque Street and where our hostel is located.

We emerge from the catacombs of sub-Sinagpore and into Chinatown, the hustle and bustle of a million restaurants and other forms of commerce a maelstrom around us. Sheila’s hastily scribbled directions prove fruitless as we simply can’t discern any of the street names. Not because we can’t speak Chinese, it’s literally because we can’t find any. After a brief walkabout, I gain my bearings and we stroll the few metres around the corner and locate Mosque Street.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: Singapore, Trip

Day 71 – 75 : Cairns – “Would you like some fries with your McFreeWifi?”By Lee

We emerge into the dry-heat of Cairns sometime in the evening, a little tired and tetchy from the long train ride up from the Whitsundays and eager to locate a bed. Any bed will do.

As we trundle along the pavements of Cairns’ streets, I immediately notice how low the city is. It makes sense, I suppose, after all, if I was living in a city parked about twenty miles from the sun, I’d hardly be building towering complexes to get even closer to the source of all the penetrating heat either.

The layout of Cairns is genius. You exit the train-station and you’re in Cairns Central, the city’s largest shopping centre. You walk through said shopping centre and you’re soon surrounded by some rough looking bars and dodgy restaurants with names like Fasta Pasta. And then a short walk leads you down to the esplanade and a man-made lagoon where people jump in and away from the heat at all hours of the day.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: Cairns, Great Barrier Reef, snorkelling

Day 67 – 70 : Whitsunday Islands – “Steer the boat. Anywhere so we don’t crash would be great.”By Lee

Whether it’s down to pure bone tiredness or a lingering state of shock, we make our way from the train station via bus to Airlie Beach in relative silence.

Actually, we’re not really in Airlie Beach, but it’s damn close and we’re promised a frequent courtesy bus that’ll whisk us into the nearby hot-spot pretty much at our discretion.

As we disembark the feeder bus, lugging backpacks from the trailer contraption that has followed us all the way from the train station like an obedient dog, the bus driver cocks his head to the sound of bird call and points up into the trees.

“Black Cockatoo,” he says, “really rare bird.” We look up and, no shit, what looks like two large, black parrots are perched on the branches of a near leafless tree welcoming us to the area.

I need an omen, anything that suggests life is going to get a little better after the horrors of the previous night, so I take this wholeheartedly. Two rare black birds. It’ll have to do.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: Airlie Beach, Domino, Whitehaven, Whitsundays, Xpress

Day 66 : Lost in Transportation – “I need to get off this train. Now.”By Lee

If I thought the train journey from Brisbane to Hervey Bay was painful, I had no idea what lay in store for me on the overnight jaunt north to Airlie Beach.

Even now, sitting in Kuala Lumpur’s humidity and typing up my memories of the nightmarish event, I still can not fully comprehend, never mind see the funny side of, the absolute horror that befell me. I’m getting ahead of myself …

We decide to head north to the Whitsunday Islands by train. It’s a fourteen hour voyage through dark, inhospitable Australian hinterland, and considering it starts (or was supposed to start – the train was late due to overbooking and the company’s inability to find spare carriages) at 8pm, this part of our journey is going to entail sleeping through the night in a metal tube laden with some of the weirdest people on the planet. I’m not sure what attracts crazies to overnight train trips but, as we rocket north to a destination I’m not even sure exists, I soon have more things to worry about.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: Trip

Day 64 – 65 : Fraser Island – “Fair dinkum – we’ve only blown the bloody turbo.”By Lee

We’re picked up bright and bushy the next morning by our Fraser Island guide, Neil.

A rubber-faced true Aussie bloke who prides himself on being an outdoorsman, a lover of barbeques and a connoisseur of fine any alcoholic beverage, Neil spots that I’m Irish and asks if I’ve brought the beer.

Ah, cultural stereotypes, where would we be without them? I catch my tongue before insinuating he’s a rampant criminal/koala fucker.

It’s not the last time Neil mentions beer, as while we scamper around Hervey and Rainbow Bay picking up unsuspecting tourists, each new recruit to his burgeoning merry band of island hoppers are quickly informed of the inner workings of the alcohol market on Fraser island, our destination for the next two days.

Long (and tedious) story short, there are limited supplies on Fraser so, naturally, the laws of economics pass into almost feral territory (much like the island itself) and what might cost you $3 on the coast will invariably cost you $200 once on the island. I might be embellishing a little but, fair dinkum, Neil spins a stark and cautionary tale and depicts an uber-capitalist market nightmare, sharp fanged yuppies hell-bent on taking your cash on every corner. Or perhaps under every tree considering corners will be in short supply where we’re going.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: dingos, Ely Creek, Fraser Island, Indian Head, Maheno

Day 61 – 63 : Hervey Bay – “Place is a real shit-hole if you ask me.”By Lee

The train journey north from Brisbane to Maryborough, where we’re to catch a connecting coach to the coastal town of Hervey Bay, is an exercise in restraint.

What I can only describe as an inbred family has taken up a series of seats beside, in front of and, at times, around us.

They’re made up of a mother and apparent step-father who spend the next few hours slapping their children and laughing maniacally in the process. It reminds me of the saying: “It’s amazing how, if you want to own a dog, you have to get a licence, but any complete shithead is allowed to have children.”

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: Hervey Bay, Koala Beach Resort, The Woolshed, Trip

Day 58 – 60 : Brisbane – “I can do you a good deal on Swine Flu.”By Lee

We emerge into the hot Brisbane night tired and slightly irked by the fact that, inconceivably and despite being on practically the same longitude, Brisbane is an hour behind Sydney. Throw in the fact that the clocks have just shifted back home, and the handy “just invert a.m. to p.m.” trick of knowing what time it is back in Ireland is thrown into total disarray.

We locate luggage (thank you Virgin Blue for not losing it) and take a courtesy shuttle into the heart of Brisbane. Even in the gloom of Australia’s forever marching spring-time dusk, I’m impressed with just how open, clean and seemingly modern Brisbane is.

A short walk later and we’ve located our hostel; one of a trio in a line next to one another, all apparently resembling a reckless fusion of sorority and frat house. Somewhere near its corrupt heart an Irish bar festers, the strange sound of inept warbling permeating through the walls in sickening waves like drowning sheep.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: brisbane, Trip

Day 54 – 57 : Sydney – “I think I’m having a heart attack”By Lee

Queenstown to Sydney is a mere three and a half hours away, and with the expected shift in time-zones, it feels like we’ve barely missed a beat.

For this part of our journey we’re staying with an old friend of mine, Jonathan, a fellow Irishman who I worked with in my last job and someone I was happy to stay in touch with when he fled to Oz.

A tech guru with a disdain for the Java programming language and a penchant for charity work (or at least trying to drag charities into the 21st century so they can generate more money for their collective causes), Jonathan has magnanimously offered to put us up for a few days in his apartment.

Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, we gratefully accepted.

Read the rest of this entry…

Tags: Sydney, Trip